5 Questions To Change Your Life [+ How To *Actually* Make It Last]

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This post is in partnership with Basis, thank you for supporting brands who support TCM. As always, all thoughts, opinions, experience, and advice is my own.


Stuck. Confused. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Anxious.

All words I’ve thought about my own life and situation more times than I can even remember. Which makes sense, as millennials we grew up in an achievement based environment. You get an A, you get on a sports team or some other extracurricular, you get into college, you get – get – get. Achieve. Achieve. Achieve.

Only once you’re out of traditional school – the achievement milestones become fewer and further between. Queue anxiety and questioning everything about our life path. Unfortunately, most of us didn’t actually learn to build up our self esteem based on *who* we are – but rather *what* we’re doing. It’s no wonder millennials have been voted the most stressed our generation for years according to the American Psychological Association.

Before we jump into the questions to change your life…

I do want to point out, that the five questions I’m about to break down for you that can totally change your life are just one approach. It’s also important to talk with other’s while asking yourself these questions. Basis is a fantastic option if you’re looking to talk things out with a trained specialist. Basis is a modern approach to mental health. Basically they’ve made it really easy for you to sign up for same-day (or in the future) appointments that happen via video or phone for $35 and last between 30-45 minutes. They deliver affordable, research backed approaches to working through challenging moments throughout life. The specialists have also been trained by Stanford psychologists.

Before we jump into the questions, I want to point out one more thing: the feelings of overwhelm and frustration you may be experience are just indicators that something is out of alignment. They aren’t permanent states. You CAN change them.

Here are 5 Questions To Ask To Change Your Life:

When did this feeling start and why am I calling it into my life right now?

Taking a look back at your life to when you began feeling this way can be really helpful in figuring out why you’re calling it into your life. Did it start when you began your new job? Watched your best friend get engaged? Lost someone close to you? If it’s a feeling you’ve struggled with on-and-off for a long time, you may want to consider starting a journal to track it going forward and see what insight you can glean around situations or people that kick it up for you. Otherwise, you can always go back through old text messages, notes in your phone, or social media posts you’ve made to try and figure out when it started coming up for you. Basically, sleuth yourself!

When was the last time I felt totally free and joyous?

Pure, unfiltered joy is one of the highest energy frequencies I believe we can get into. It’s a place that really fills up our soul and allows us to magnetize opportunities into our lives. This place of total freedom, joy, and flow is also where I believe our true self lies.

For example, as a kid, I loved writing. I would always write short stories and lose myself in them for hours. As I grew older, I heard things like “you can’t make money writing,” or “left-handed people are stupid, re-write this with your right if you don’t want to end up stupid.” I turned that part of me off – but when I reconnected to it things in my life began to click. I found myself with new opportunities for work, friends, connection, and my self-esteem flourished. I’m not saying that whatever this thing is has to become your career. What I am saying is that when you can get lost in this place, you can unlock new doors, opportunities, and insights to propel yourself forward.

What’s the lesson I’m supposed to be learning right now?

For most of us, we have this subconscious belief that in order to change it has to be painful or difficult. I truly believe that when we feel “stuck” it’s because the Universe is preparing us to learn a lesson and not allowing things to progress until we learn it. We have to create space to hold the things we want most in life. I don’t believe there are any bad experiences in life – only opportunities for growth. The more we can step into that mentality and filter everything happening in our life as an asset of, “this is happening for me, not to me” we can begin to evolve.

How can I create more space to express myself fully and attract exactly what I want?

This may look like…

Finally letting go of the old stories/regrets that no longer serve you… or

Cease comparing yourself to others and start celebrating yourself… or

Learning to balance your time instead of overloading (or under loading) yourself… or

Finally taking action rather than being paralyzed by indecision… or

Listening to your intuition and inner voice instead of what everyone else is telling you to do!

Whenever you find yourself second guessing your thoughts or actions, making yourself smaller, filtering, or even just feeling annoyed (just to name a few) those are all opportunities to create more space in your life to fully show up as who you are. To move out of judgement and into growth. If you want to attract new things in your life (whether that’s feelings, money, opportunities or something else) you’ll need to fully show up as yourself. You won’t be rewarded (or probably even like yourself) for pretending to be someone else.

Do I need an extra opinion?

Well, personally I think we all always need an extra opinion. We’re usually too close to our own situation to look at it critically and unbiasedly. And while friends can be a great sounding board, most people I’ve found have “yes” men and women in their life. Meaning they co-sign whatever you’re presenting because that’s what so many of us were taught to do. We’ve somehow misconstrued that “support” means agreeing.

However for true growth to happen, we need people in our lives that will reflect back what we’re saying and coach us to new insights. That’s why I’m loving Basis! They pair you with a trained specialist who doesn’t give advice, but rather reflects back what you’re saying. Allowing you to recognize your own internal strengths and move forward in a way that’s aligned with who you are and where you’re at.

How To Make Lasting Change In Your Life:

First, change is a good thing! Realize that no one is a finished product. We are all in relationships and situations that agitate our “stuff.” That causes us to lash out, get passive aggressive, shut down, or whatever your defenses are. Continue asking yourself these questions and working with specialists at Basis can be a great way to ensure you’re actually creating lasting change. That’s one reason they’ve made their services so affordable, to ensure that you’re actually supported and can schedule a session whenever you need. There’s nothing worse than holding off on talking to someone until you’re in a really bad spot. This allows you to have a guided conversation with a trained specialist as things are coming up in your life. Letting you leave with a new perspective and takeaways to actually begin implementing changes.

Basis also shared the promo code: RACHEL220 for $20 off your session!

Click here to take advantage of Basis’s discount code.

Remember, no one is perfect. It’s okay to ask for help and even better to take responsibility for our actions and feelings. When we can fully embrace where we are at, we can finally begin to respond to life differently and create lasting change. Doing a daily inventory of these questions (or creating your own) are great ways to create lasting change and move towards the person and life you desire!

 


RELATED READS:

Living With Anxiety? 15 Tips to Help You Manage It

9 Signs You’re On The Road To Burnout With No Work-Life Balance

How to Cope with Anxiety

Millennials, Here’s What You Need To Know About Living Your Best Life

3 Areas To Focus On While Feeling Lost As A Millennial


Here are 5 Questions To Ask To Change Your Life:

  1. When did this feeling start and why am I calling it into my life right now?

  2. When was the last time I felt totally free and joyous?

  3. What’s the lesson I’m supposed to be learning right now?

  4. How can I create more space to express myself fully and attract exactly what I want?

  5. Do I need an extra opinion?

 

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