Legit, feels like I blinked and this month was gone! How is 2018 moving so fast? I need it to slooooowwwwww down. Buttttt it's moving fast for all sorts of good reasons and things! Some recapped below, some will be revealed in March! In case you're new around here, as the calendar transitions into a new month, I do a little recap of all the things I loved and learned from the previous one. Check out past monthly recaps here.
I've been moving out of my crab shell (cancer sun sign here) and to meet up with friends IRL and digitally! I have to say it's been so beautiful to surround myself with so many high vibe people as of late. Last year I really spent so much time holed up by myself or around people who complained, complained, complained… and guess what, I started complaining too! All the time. Nonstop. BLECH. I can whole heartedly say, that going into 2018 I cleared a lot of space in my life – from people to activities to things – and stopped putting energy towards anything that didn't inspire me or lift me up and as a result, this year has kicked off SO beautifully…
…with that said, it hasn't been all peaches and cream. So a lot of you know that I kicked off 2018 with 3 big announcements, one of them being that I was going to shaman school this year. Well when I announced that, I didn't know Shaman Durek would come into my life before starting shaman school. So January kicked off where I got to meet Shaman Durek, attend his bootcamp, and begin studying with him. It's been such a beautiful experience. However later that month, I attended shaman school (which was what I originally announced).
Before heading to school, I got a nagging feeling inside of me not to go… it wasn't the right match for me. I ignored it and all the other signs from the Universe and went anyway… School started on Friday and by Saturday afternoon I was in tears wanting to leave. I felt like the experience was so disempowering compared to what I had been doing and studying. Not to say it was disempowering for everyone, but it felt like five steps backward for me.
I pulled myself together and stayed for the remainder of the weekend, and even had committed to stay at one point for the entire year long program. Even though while I was there one of the teacher's literally gave me a message from spirit (shamans talk to spirits, btw nbd) that said, “stop dawdling,” and secretly I knew what I was doing there was wasting time.
Withdrawing from Shaman School
But once I got home, I had anxiety through the roof. I hate being in limbo. It's a waste of time and energy. That's when the Universe gave me even more signs! You see, the first morning I got home, I opened my Instagram and decided to watch The Trap Witch's story where she did a tarot reading (if you don't follow her on Insta, do it!)… Basically she said, “the universe keeps giving you signs and hitting you upside the head, so listen!!)… and I just knew in that moment, not to go back to school. I hit send on the email withdrawing myself and put it behind me.
Continuing to study, learn and grow
Even though I knew it was the right choice, I struggled with some guilt around it. You see, I consider myself a person with a lot of integrity. If I say I'm going to do something, I follow through. And even though I know it was okay to change my mind, I felt embarrassed that I had so publicly made an announcement that I wasn't following through with. I had to work through that and it took until now for me to announce, that while I am still studying with Shaman Durek digitally (check out his IG too!), I'm not going to “official” shaman school anymore.
As always, all experiences are an opportunity for growth and at Shaman School I did meet my absolute soul sister, who I've talked to basically every single day since school, The Real Nurse Natalie:
Last month I shared my tips for beginner's getting started with meditation! I've been meditating “officially” since 2008. Over the last decade I've picked up a lot of tips, tricks, and lessons. Writing this post was so special for me since I believe everyone should meditate! The benefits are unbelievable! But I see a lot of people never start due to overwhelm, anxiety, or perfectionism. I really hope the post removed a ton of barriers people may have built up in their mind. I do have a follow up post planned that's a little more focused on my personal meditation ritual today which I hope you guys will love!
Ohhh rose waterrrr how I love theeeee… seriously talk about a miracle! I started drinking rose water a couple of months ago and it's been a total game changer in my wellness routine! Read more about rose water's benefits, uses, and how to make your own here! If you already caught this post, let me know in the comments if you've been incorporating it more into your routine and what your results have been!!
Truthfully, I always had FOMO when I saw everyone posting about FabFitFun on Instagram… but never bit the bullet and joined in. I'm thrilled they asked to partner together on their spring box so I could finally put my skepticism aside and see just how amazing this quarterly subscription box actually is! Read my take on the spring box here, and use code CONFUSED for $10 off your first box at FabFitFun.com!
Dreaming of Travel
One thing I have always loved since I was a little girl was traveling! I have a few trips hopefully planned this year (Hello NY to see Harry Potter on Broadway? Or New Orleans for a conference?… more will be revealed!). But it was sooo fun thinking all about how to make my bucket list a reality last month!
Take us back to The Fairmont Kea Lani in Maui!!
Did ya catch my post on 8 unique Valentine's Day date ideas for any budget?!? Truthfully, you can do them any night of the year! In fact, on Valentine's Day E and I NEVER go out. I think we did once and we both were so not into it that we said never again! Instead we prefer to keep things low key. Bring in Chinese food or cook a meal. Super casual. Since we started dating “officially” a few days before Valentine's day (read how we met here), a lot of the time we won't do gifts or anything special either. But E surprised me with the cutest picnic basket and blanket to really up level our evenings on the beach! I absolutely love it! Isn't it a beautiful thing when you find someone who understands and how you like to celebrate holidays?
Perspective Shifts out the wazoo
WOOOO! Last month seemed to be all about shifting your perspective around here! I wrote a post on how to never experience heartbreak again (and why none of us have actually experienced it). It's a totally freeing perspective shift IMO that will get you right out of victim and straight into creator of your own destiny… but that's my opinion, some of the comments seemed to disagree ??♀️. In fact, another post last month specifically on 3 perception shifts you need to embrace to live your truth brought up similar contentions in the comments… Which really got me thinking as I combed through the comments on “3 Ways To Build Confidence & Have Better Relationships.” You see all three were written by someone different and required the writer to go through some sort of serious pain before this shift in perspective. All three of us got stuck in a story line that kept us feeling depressed, anxious, and jailed in a victims reality.
So why did people seemingly agree with the post on confidence so much more than the other two? Here's my hypothesis: reading through the comments on the confidence post, I saw a lot of people comment with their agreement and noted what they wanted to stop doing; basically a lot of self deprecation and putting themselves down for being guilty of still doing some of the things listed in the post. Whereas with the other two posts, there wasn't a measuring stick held up of “build these qualities” – instead it was simply, “here's the shift that needs to happen to be free” which I think led to a level of discomfort in some because it challenged the victim mentality.
The challenge to you:
As someone who spent years – I'm talking over 15 – in a victims mindset, I can usually spot it in someone longggg before they can spot it in themselves. So I say all of this with a lot of love, and support. If you felt some type of way in any of those post, I challenge you to dig deeper and ask yourself how does staying stuck in the same story over and over (of heartbreak, ignorance, and anything else you're trying to control or seek answers outside of yourself) keep you sick, anxious, and/or depressed? How has the story built up in your head – that you keep telling – prevented you from raising your vibration?
You see, we are all the creators of our world. If you want to manifest something you have to believe it will come and raise your vibration (more on manifestation here). If you want to let go of pain, anxiety, and depression (or any negativity or low vibrations for that matter) you have to choose to shift your perspective. I know the weight of that last sentence – especially as someone who has been diagnosed with a slew of mental health disorders AND has a master's degree in counseling AND worked as a therapist before this whole blogging thing. – But the point is, use negativity or discomfort as a tool to shine a light on what you still need to embrace in your reality (or yourself). Choose to let go of the victim mentality and embrace that fact that you are the ultimate creator in your life.Use negativity or discomfort as a tool to shine a light on what you still need to embrace in your reality (or yourself). Click To Tweet Choose to let go of the victim mentality and embrace that fact that you are the ultimate creator in your life. Click To Tweet
PHEW okay, that “things I loved” post got wayyy heavier than anticipated buttt I hope it got you thinking a little about your own evolution and how you can embrace yourself a little more moving into March! –
Oh yeah, p.s. I think I'm skipping posting on Friday this week, sooo see you next week!