Happy Mother’s Day!! This is a very unexpected post! This morning my sweet husband said to me, “I have something for you, I want you to post it,” and then handed me this letter. And well…
An Ode To My Wife
How The Confused Millennial Helped Me Navigate This Whole Adulting Thing
You patiently stalked me when you were 22 and I was 28. One would think that it was partially due to the appeal of me being an older guy who should have his life together. A 6 year age gap that would provide the younger you with insights on life and guidance and a direction forward. However, it was the complete opposite. In the seven years we’ve been together you have helped me become the man I didn’t know I could be, nor the man I thought ever wanted to be. But you have helped me evolve into a man I am proud to be.
Here’s just a short list of how you’ve helped me navigate this whole adulting thing:
You have taught me the power of talking and expressing my feelings. The ability to speak my truths and be vulnerable. You have created a safe environment to be heard. The reason we don’t “fight” by conventional terms is because, thanks to you, we have a way to communicate and diffuse situations, and most importantly address them instead of sweeping them under a rug and letting resentments build.
You have taught me the value of protecting myself, our relationship, and our daughter. My entire people pleasing life was dedicated to making those around me happier at the sacrifice of myself. You brought me into the light. You showed me that I can be the best for myself and those around me if I put myself first sometimes. You gave me the permission to occasionally be “selfish” and in doing so reframing my relationship with those around me for the better.
You have taught me the value of a dollar. Something my parents could never achieve. You gave me the view of the future that I want to save for. You allowed me to see the value of spending on things that truly bring me joy, versus wasting money on fleeting tangible items that just filled a void.
You continue to teach me to love myself, both through your words and through your actions. You have the most enviable self-confidence. You know your worth and you are not ashamed of it. You express to me my worth, and help me realize it every day.
You have a remarkable self-awareness. You listen to your body, mind and soul and when it needs self-care, or to work harder, you act on those feelings. Without you I would forever be in a “go-go-go” mentality, never truly present. You’ve taught me the importance of slowing down and stopping. Most importantly just by being you, and in being in my life, and bringing our daughter into the world you give me a reason to be present. You have shown me that my work and success are only part of what defines me.
Your ability to see the treasure in another person’s trash, to decorate, design, DIY and express yourself through the written and spoken word has been truly inspiring. You bring me into your world, and allow me to tap into my creative side. You break me out of my shell and allow me to explore things, without judgement, that bring me joy.
You have shown me the meaning of true partnership. What it means to give and to take. That I am worthy of receiving, and equally important showing me your worth and making sure that I never take that for granted. You have taught me unconditional love. You have shown me what it means to have my partner be the strong one when I’m feeling weak, and being equally vulnerable to allow me to be the strong one in moments you feel weak. You have shown me what it means to truly share an incredible life with someone.
You are an incredible parent. You are loving, patient, caring, flexible, but equal parts structured. You have taught me through your everyday living what it means to step into the role of a parent. To guide and nurture our daughter. To understand and respect she is her own person and not an extension of us. To learn from her and not see ourselves as the teachers. You are constantly reading and listening, and striving to do better, and through your own awareness of self and that of the world around us creating an environment for our daughter to thrive in, and in doing so allowing me to share in that experience.
Thank you on behalf of myself and to the community of people that you provide content to for being the nurturer in some way by helping to shape us into people we are proud to be, and letting us know that it is ok to be vulnerable, it is ok to be human, and no matter our shortcomings we are all on our own journey and we are love!
I love you! Happy Mother’s Day!