3 Areas To Focus On While Feeling Lost As A Millennial

3 Areas To Focus On While Feeling Lost As A Millennial To Discover Self Worth and Overcome Loneliness - The Confused Millennial

*Guest Post*


Carrying my red suitcase, I changed places, countries, continents, and couches over the last several years. Whenever a friend called me, the first question was never, “how are you?” but “where are you?” I avoided any kind of shopping – not only because of my limited money – but out of fear that my suitcase would no longer close. While I still posted pictures of each new exciting destinations, I felt alone and lost between the different places. Slowly, I began to lose the feeling of belonging and connection and counted more the ‘goodbyes’ than ‘hellos’ within a month.

Photo Cred: Lee Key

When I finally returned to my so called home, I realized that friends had left. When I finally found a job in my country of origin, I realized that it’s even more difficult to make friends there compared to many international communities.

I describe myself as a citizen of the world and somebody with an open mind and broad perspectives – but if I am being honest, most of my international friends share the same social background and I cannot equate Internationality with Diversity.

I desperately hold onto the ideology that one day, I will contribute to the changes of the world. However, most of my energy is going towards fixing my own life. I find myself somewhere in between citizen of the world and a placeless generation.

As I return home, I have to face the truth: there is no way back.

I may find a place to stay longer and to build a home, but I will probably never return to the person I was before. Today, I secretly judge the simple and easy lifestyle I once knew.

While living this crazy suitcase life, untethered from the world and feeling lost, I  can keep three main points in mind to ease the discomfort:

1. Focus on goals:

Rather than remembering the times you were invited to dinners, running into friends on the city street, focus on goals. Nostalgia should not change one’s level of ambition. Instead, try to approach your life as the narrator of your own story, with patience and curiosity as you uncover your place in the world and what goals could ignite your spirit.

2. Focus on the moment:

In between chatting with old friends and talking with random people in a new place, focus on living in the moment. Every place or experience has something to offer even if it only lasts for a minute, a day, or a week. No matter the length of the moment, you can discover value in it if you remain present.

3. Focus on your inner value:

Even if you are couch surfing or you need help and advice from other, you should never lower your self-esteem. Sometimes in life, you can give more and at other times you will need more. It does not change who you are or your worth. Find your value, and always hold onto it even when you experience fleeting thoughts that you are less than.

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  • Sarah Jean

    Great guest post. I haven’t traveled as much as Inka but can identify with these feeling. I do live in DC though where it feels like as soon as you make a friend, they are moving away from the city. It is good to enjoy each day and focus on our goals to stay grounded

  • I am REALLY trying my best to focus on the moment(s) lately. I feel like I look at the big picture so much and never actually soak in the moments!

  • Jamie

    Great guest post, and so relevant! Being a post-grad I can so relate to feeling lost and trying to find your place in the world that is “adulting” can be super tough!

    xx, Jamie
    theblonderlife.com

  • Love this so much. Adulting is so tough, but focusing on these three things – especially the last one for me – is so huge.

  • Focusing on the moment is #1 for me!

  • Miss ALK

    As I’m applying to my first full-time job right now, focussing on GOALS is so important!!

    xoxo A
    http://www.southernbelleintraining.com

  • These are all so important. I need to learn to focus on the moment more.

  • I’m a millennial, feeling kinda lost right now. So this helps a ton! I’m trying to focus on goals, though…but I’m resisting the urge to sell everything and travel 🙂

  • Definitely agree with the second one! Focusing on the now and learning to live in the moment is oh so important!

  • Anna Hubbard

    I’m a big fan of focusing on the future, but I need to start living in the moment a little more! Great post!
    -Anna | http://www.fivefootandfabulous.com

  • I’ve been trying to focus on being in the moment more! I’m always trying to think three steps (or days) ahead and it’s not always great for my stress levels. Heres to living more in the moment!

  • I feel like a lot of us millennials are lost. I always wonder if generations before felt this way too. Great tips. It’s a little hard for me to live in my moment right now but I can stand behind the goals. Making new ones now and I need to see them through. It’ll help me move on from my moment.

  • I always focus on my goals and I also think about why I started on this journey if I ever feel lost! Great tips.

    Alix | http://www.apintsizedlifeblog.com

  • Love these tips! Thinking about the moment is such a great thing for me.

  • Realizing our value is so stinkin’ important. We have so much value and potential for awesome things, but we have to realize that and accept that before that’s going to be of any good to us.

  • This post – love. Having felt the same way while being a “citizen of the world” I could not agree more with your tips here – they are so on point. Focusing on the goal and inner value were key for me. Thanks for sharing – always need a reminder.

  • “I cannot equate Internationality with Diversity” <— loved this line!

  • Such an interesting perspective. I love the citizen of the world mentality 🙂

  • Ashley Vickney

    Such a great guest post! I love the live in the moment, I’ve really been working on that lately. Also I really love the fact that nostalgia is not ambition, it took me awhile to remember that!
    xoxo
    Ashley

  • Ashley Mason

    This is such a great post! I’ve been working on living in the moment as well!

  • All such true, poignant points. And I love the quote about not equating internationality with diversity – so true!

    Coming Up Roses

  • Leeza Smith

    This is just the advice I needed right now haha. Thanks! great post!

  • This is such an insightful post with good tips. I think it’s so important to live in the moment and enjoy your surroundings and people in it.

  • Elly Leavitt

    ah this is so true and I love this! as someone who moves around a lot, i so get where you’re coming from. But I agree that being goal-oriented is so important and helpful! x

  • mQs

    I love that you brought up focusing on your inner value. I need to start doing more of this!

  • These are great tips – not just for millennials but for everyone. I feel 1&2 are sort of the same family: living in the moment.

  • Greta Hollar

    Focusing on the moment is definitely something I struggle with. I’ve made it a goal is 2017 to be more present.

    Greta | http://www.gretahollar.com

  • I think focusing on the moment is something that our generation is starting to lose. I know that I get so focused on capturing the moment that I don’t enjoy it as fully. I’m trying my hardest to let go my need of documenting and just focusing more!

  • This is definitely a feeling I think most of us can relate to. Focusing on the moment is such an important thing to do, especially in today’s fast-paced world.

  • Ulisses Bio

    Amazing post. I share many of the feeling here. Thanks for sharing them!

  • I’ll have to put this into practice as soon as possible. I have quite a busy and stresful period ahead of me and I’m sure I’ll feel lost from time to time. Thanks, Inka!

    Cristina | *janded

  • Alex Lo

    Great post! I can definitely relate!

  • Carly Ned

    Focusing on goals is my favorite! It keeps you on a straight path and always looking forward. Great words xx

  • Oh, this is so well written! Totally speaking to my heart at this point in time. At this age, it’s so easy to feel like everything’s up in the air, like nothing is really concrete.. I’ve definitely noticed that keeping one big, long-term goal is super grounding!

  • This is just the post I needed to read right now. Focusing on your inner value is super important as a millennial.

  • Adriana

    I love this! Focusing on your goals really can help a lot – it’s easy to lose track of what you’re striving for!

  • Rachel Golden

    I LOVE the idea of viewing your life as the narrator– constantly trying to work through the story until you find your place. It’s all about the journey! And Focusing on the Present has been something I’m really trying to implement more often. I don’t like where I am at the moment, but I know that one day I’ll move on to other things and will look back at this time. So I’m trying to appreciate it before its gone 🙂 It’s definitely not easy when you’re feeling lost, but these tips help make the transition go a lot smoother.

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